Worrisome day

Its been two months since i blogged, guess i am not your regular blogger.

Its not nothing has happened since, just that i am plain lazy. busy with kids stuff today, feel guilty if i dont spend time with them over the week, esp my son. he gets "scolded" for nothing from both of us, that leaves me feeling bad, esp when we try not to agitate our small girl, she adores all our attention and screams at the slightest perceived parental request. yet , i am woried about my job, dont know where this is heading, esp with the global downturn. Life is never the same. Everyday is a challenge. The wifey says, or at least thinks my family is crazed. My mum calls the whole world to her birthday party , the wife complains, i guess i am not happy with it either. One side of me thinks thats her pregorative, at least its not happening in our house. I have just viewed some online short videos on the web about de-stressing yourself, that gives me more stress now, with the myraid of self-help theories and advice. Some say try yoga, breathe well, play games , exercise, etc. Its a saturday for crying out aloud, why am i so hot (literally its a hot day) and so bothered, should be out enjoying myself. Probably the price I am paying for being so self-absorbed about how i spend my time, should "hang loose" and relax, not get too tightly wound up, or highly strung, thats what someone said to me once.

I get anxious when things dont work out according to plan, or even if it did, could it have been better, what people are thinking (lesser of that as i get older & wiser, I suppose), how should i be reacting to situations, how to respond in a conversation and in a group, etc. Then there are political, financial, world situations, climate changes , social , worries beyond your control.