Self-renewal

Principles for self-renewal


WE ALL know that an exciting working life comes with growing responsibilities and challenges.

In our relentless pursuit of career goals, we may lose sight of priorities we have set for our family and personal life. Without setting aside time to recharge ourselves, we may run out of steam and encounter work-life tension.

But there are people who seem to have found the right formula for work-life effectiveness. What could be their work-life mantra? Have they adopted certain good "Habits" and "Attitudes" we have overlooked? Try the following "Habitudes" for a change:

- The Iceberg (Your character)

Visualise an iceberg. The 10 percent above water is your skill-set. The 90 per cent below water is your character, comprising your values, standards and belief system. Work on your character to enhance your credibility and to build strong relationships at work and in life, for greater personal effectiveness. Remember, it is what's below the surface that sinks the ship.

- The Starving Baker (Feed yourself)

Do not be like a starving baker who spends time baking for others but forgets to feed himself. Identify personal development opportunities to pick up new skills and ideas. Sharpen your saw by taking time out for your personal interests or to be with your family and friends. You might have experienced work-life disharmony fighting for survival during the economic downturn. It is now timely to replenish your emotional and physical reserves, to rise up to future work-life challenges.

- Drivers and Passengers (Be a driver, not a passenger)

Drivers and passengers have totally different perspectives of their journey. Drivers focus on the destination and the route to get there. Passengers pay no or little attention to the direction taken.

Be responsible for your journey and destination in life. Proactively review your life goals, and plan your work-life around your priorities. For example, if you wish to spend more time with your family, you may explore whether there is room for flexibility in your working arrangements in a way that will benefit you and your company.

- Emotional Fuel (Be connected)

People closest to you are your personal network of emotional fuel. Do not run out of "gas"; spend time with your loved ones, mentors, role models and accountability partners to re-ignite your passion for work and life. Your personal network will be a bedrock of support in helping you surmount work-life challenges. They can also be your sounding board and hold you to your work-life commitments.

- Big Rocks First (Prioritise your daily tasks)

Imagine that you are filling a container with rocks - you must put the big ones in first to make room for the smaller ones. Rocks are priorities. At the start of each day, identify your top priorities for that day, and address them before you move on to other activities.

Remember that 20 per cent of your daily tasks will help you achieve 80 per cent of your desired results. Are the items on your calendar mostly time-wasters or urgent tasks? Always plan ahead for important assignments to avoid a reactive, trouble-shooting tendency.

Perhaps one of your New Year resolutions is about achieving greater work-life effectiveness. If so, commit to good self-leadership "Habitudes" for a start. It could be the big rock that makes the difference in jumpstarting your exciting work-life journey.

-This article is partially adapted from "The art of self leadership" by Dr Tim Elmore, contributed by Mrs Helen Lim-Yang, a senior partner of OTi Consulting, a management consultancy specialising in organisation renewal.

Expectation

Today lets talk about "expectation" . It seems more often than not the issues we face individually within and the conflicts that arise in families , at work , relationships and even between countries is due to mismatch between expectation and results or actual outcomes . Why is that so ?

To love ourselves , we ought to be in synch and in touch with our inner self .  Whatever we think and do should be in agreement to a high degree with our expectation of the outcome . If it is not aligned or totally out of synch , then it's unreasonable to expect a favourable or happy end result . Feelings would be hurt within and wth others , this unhappiness can multiply and affect others involved thus resulting in conflict . At a group or country level , entire communities and society is impacted . This may seem simplistic and life is a lot more complicated , however if we can't resolve this at basic level , can we resolve it at the larger level ?

The 3 biggest issues affecting our world today - financial markets in distress and the depressing world economy , Syrian civil war and resulting huge refugees crisis  , north Korean nuclear militarisation - are no surprise and due to worsening situation . Expectation of the world powers that be to quickly resolve them was absolutely unrealistic , instead expectation to get everyone to the negotiation table after military action was take by some powers was as expected and aligned closely to the achievements at the recent conference . Now, the process is for the countries affected to get moving and get common agreement between government and rebels for the peace and safety of the people of Syria.

New year 2016

This is the year I am looking forward after a year of upheavals and distress all over the world . My kids are entering their final years in their respective schools  , one at primary and the other at pre-university facing important public exams . Though exams doesn't determine how successful you become , it's still a very important milestone and personal achievement  in life . I pray for the continued good health for our family, friends and relatives , our people and country , people everywhere and that of all forms of life and our planet and universe  . It is the delicate balance of Nature and this miracle of Life that ensures the survivability of mankind and our world.

My wishes for 2016 is that world poverty should end , the brutal and sometimes fatal people smuggling must be wiped out, terrorism especially killing of civilians should be eliminated totally and world peace , stability and security become status quo. Other major cases to be resolved or mitigated are climate change , poor health and education levels, disease especially in poor countries , serious crimes , civil wars, endemic corruption among politicians, officials and management in private sector and even in sports (example Fifa ) . These are lofty goals that gets repeated year in and out, nevertheless mankind should still target to achieve it at whatever cost . Priorities have to and must change - economic growth , personal status and monetary or material gains should not be at the expense of the vast majority 's well-being and the other important elements  ie. plant and animal life , the environment , world peace and the "balance" of Mother Nature . The ills that plague our world will eventually destroy it if we , as the most intelligent speices , do not look after it with all our hearts and minds and take concrete actions that enable positive changes  to reverse the rapid decline . The moment we lose that battle then we cease to be humans and have lost the right to exist. Our planet Earth will be doomed forever on the path of no return . God bless us and Mother Earth and all life on it .

New beginnings 2015

I have learnt to look at life in new perspectives . Everything starts at thought level . There are things I have no control over and should not be given any thought at all so No action to be taken. 

Then there are petty items like desires for something insignificant like buying gadgets which are unnecessary or calling or visiting someone out of the blue who has not contacted you all these years .

Lastly the irritating stuff or noise people make , even by your loved ones , should be ignored totally .

Then you are left with the most important things in life to share with people you care I.e. Your immediate family and close friends and current colleagues who care "back" and show genuine concern now . That's only thing that's matters in life , nothing else ever does matter. 

Be indifferent and ignore things that don't matter and people who are indifferent . Cheers !👍😊

What a year 2013 !

Very well into 2013 , with this past few months being another low period of my life after about 2 years break, and not just my career but concerns on family and health. Cycles of ups and downs are getting shorter and more frequent . Is this a sign of aging both physically & emotionally . Some observations :-

1. My habits are more or less set in stone with very minor tweaks allowed. Old habits translate to my character being what it is or the reverse which is more true.  Due to lack of strength on my part, when i am having downtime, it's very convenient to trouble the one person you love most in your life after the "emotional" trigger. To blame misfortunes on my wife is totally uncalled for and shifting the responsibility. Just like I expect from others, I must be held accountable and respond to the situation appropriately. In this regard,  I must change or die changing...and accept the things I cannot change i.e. reality, society, health and circumstances.  
2. Past 2 months, I have been doing my own soul-searching for the meaning of my existence and/or my life and doing "experiments with truth" (like the Mahatma Gandhi's book). I started attending weekly Gita class at Chinmaya centre here and then went for the  talk/meditation and received Darshan (hug & prasad)  from Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi) when she visited Singapore recently.The more i am exposed to these talks, the more i question the reasons of us being "Here" in this world right now, why my situation is like this,and why others act like that. Being angry and believing people are conspiring against me due to age or experience (i.e. lack of in particular areas) or race or language (cannot speak the language of the majority race) makes me more angry and insecure.
3.  At times, I have contemplated leaving my adopted country and seeking greener pastures abroad yet again.Even though my last experience about 7 years ago in this regard has been unsatisfactory especially on the career front and came back disillusioned from the Lucky country.. .. the fact is i sometimes  feel the world here is closing in on me and work opportunities are getting lesser and lesser for experienced S'poreans like me, even though two-thirds of population here will be senior citizens (above age 50) by 2020..

well , till the next time i pen my thoughts, adios !

Finding yourself

There are many thoughts on this popular subject of finding yourself, and which path should one follow. first path is to do solely what you are passionate about & ignoring eveythng else or surmounting it (by taking the road less travelled, carefree & throwing caution to the winds). the second is immerse oneself in work and chores of daily life ie. to merely exist (like an autobot). the third path is be your own person (since you are neither the above),ie.a mix of both which are most of us people; we may all have thought that one time or other we will change the world or make a difference through a "pet cause" eg. protecting the environment or nature, raising spiritual awareness, writing a book, being a inventor, world leader or famous person or even doing social work. Maslow's theory on hierarchy of needs states that one only can talk about this higher-level needs & self-actualisation when you have first conquered basic needs and have a decent standard of living, i venture to add that you must be focused, organised, overcome mental challenges, physical difficulties and be single-minded & committed in your quest. we may spent our whole life trying to achieve this "pinnacle" but thats the path or journey to finding yourself. for better or worse, thats what we signed up for, that journey is the Life we are living now. In the Godfather movie, as they say "this is the Life you have chosen", so No Regrets !! 

These below are famous quotes to reflect upon in our daily lives :
• To embrace the misfit in oneself is to be vulnerable. It is to forsake any acceptance that comes with fitting in and to instead be fortified by a kind of love, really. A love of life, a love of wonder, and, ultimately, a sustaining love for oneself. Far from egoism, that love for oneself is a measure of one's love for others, for humanity. And its only from love that great ideas can be born - Anonymous
• Difficulties and Failures in Life are meant to make us Better not Bitter - John Maxwell

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

"Nobody should expect to be perfect, or be unduly troubled by the fact he is not." ~ Betrand Russell in "Conquest of Happiness".

"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own" - Cicero

Being yourself - the hardest thing to do.

Never go against your nature. Dont be a wannabe. Be a dunawanabe. Be true to yourself. Only then will you live ! Otherwise you are dying a slow death trying to live up to be someone you are not.

Stress will kill you by trying to be someone you are not.
What if being yourself irritates someone or people around you that you reinvent yourself to be another person you are not, or attempt very hard to do that which goes against your very grain, that it depresses you immensely by the time you age to 40 or 50. Only then you know people dont really care about you that you stop caring and feeling sorry for yourself and apologising for no reason at all. Then you have reached true "realisation" for to be totally free, you have to be fully aware of your true nature, the omni present , omni potent divine being that is yourself as that is every other person on this planet. All else is "maya" that clouds the mind and goal in this life and next is being one with God.

Forgoing all pleasures like unreasonable extreme attachments to material goods, money, food, ambition, entertainment, luxury, goodwill, fashion, patronage, praise, recognition , body , knowledge , can only be great for our Soul !

God bless us !